Sometimes I think I really was crazy to take on this much work. I mean, two clinicals is a full job right there, and then there's real work and class assignments on top of it. There are moments when I think I don't even want to do this anymore, but I know it's not really that. It's just that I don't have a lot of time to take care of myself.
I have felt like a big loser this week. I missed my classes Monday because I wasn't back from Virginia yet. I did send my paper and stuff to a classmate to turn in, but still. My essentials class paper was due and I didn't do it, and I missed the quiz in there too. Then last night I slept through my karate class. And today I called in to my NICU clinical, which I also had to do Wednesday because I couldn't get time off of work.
And if you add it all up, Tuesday through Sunday I was scheduled for 62 hours of working on a floor. I really didn't think I could handle that. It's just... way way too much. So now I've got it down to 50 hours and I'm still worried about being able to handle it. And turn in a late paper. And study for a quiz. Am I superwoman? No. So I'm trying not to be really hard on myself. But it's harder than it would seem.
Sleep is my most precious commodity right now. And there's never enough of it to get me through. I don't know how people go and go on only 6 or 7 hours per night. I need at least 9 or I'm totally useless.
I hope next week is better.