Saturday, August 4, 2012


I'm sitting here at the end of a long 12 hours, the first of three 12 hour days in which I won't be able to spend any time with Moose, and what have I been doing all day? Singled with one of our frequent-fliers, in DTs, again, all over the bed, insisting on being butt-nekkid, calling out for his mom, his ex, and asking us to take the ashtray off his penis and get him off of the toilet.

Oh, and last week, we had a young woman who had attempted suicide for the 3rd or 4th or 5th time. We were getting her through the overdose, sitter at bedside, and she got up to go to the toilet. Sat down on the toilet and... plop, out falls a little baggie of xanax from her vagina. Quick as a wink, she fished those pills out of the toilet and got them down before the sitter could even crawl over the bed in search of a call light.

To make a long story short, we ended up with 5 security guards putting her in leathers while she screamed "suck my diiiiick!" at the top of her lungs.

And Mr. Naked man next to me here is chewing up 20mg of ativan an hour like it's nothing but good 'ole NS. These people are so lovely.