Thursday, January 7, 2010

caffeine and xanax

This is going to be the new title for my blog. At almost two years, I guess I'm not a "brand new" nurse anymore, just a relatively new one. I started my career on this cardio-thoracic surgical unit very excited and enthusiastic about my co-workers, my profession, and what I did every day. Now- not so much. I have lost faith in my co-workers, my trust in management has been completely smashed, and I find that I do not enjoy my patients either. I feel like a pill-pusher, an ice-fetcher, and a bed-maker. I'm so grateful just to hear a "thank you" once in a while. People say "well it's your job". No, actually, ordering tuna sandwiches and making sure you have not-too-much or not-too-little ice in your cup is NOT my job! But it has become my job, and it is very disasatisfying.

Management has turned into the "mistake" police. They make it extremely hard to relax when you finally get 10 minutes of downtime. Gotta look busy ALL the time, you know! People on other shifts will write you up for every little thing. If you're sucking up to management, life is good. If not, you're on the shit list and watch out!

So I tried to make a graceful exit to L&D, was offered an interview... and guess what? They can technically hold me at this shithole job until September 2010 because our floor downsized! So the whole time the boss has been telling us that if we don't like our job, leave.... but we can't leave. We are stuck. So what does she have on her hands? A bunch of stuck employees who want get the hell out of there and don't have a voice on the floor.

BS and more BS. I could go on, but I think you get the drift.