I went to my third EKG class today with the chills and a sore throat. Later on, I was warm, according to nursing friends, and I debated in my mind whether to go to the floor afterwards or not. I almost went, because I wasn't feeling SO bad. But then I thought about all of the transplant patients and surgery patients, and I ended up calling and asking if I could come in tomorrow instead, if I'm afebrile. It sucks.
This whole thing takes its toll more than people think. I've given up a lot of things, temporarily, to make my career begin successfully. I sometimes wonder if it will cost me friendships that I worked hard for in the past. I hope to get back to my usual activities later in the summer, when my NCLEX is behind me and I successfully transition off of orientation. I just have to remember that I'm fighting for this like anyone else who wants to win something. I'm putting in hours of work, determination, and dedication. But I worry that in the meantime, I'm disappointing the other people in my life.