Thursday, March 29, 2012

Why I don't like quads

Subtitled: Why I feel like a heartless bitch when I take care of quads.

You know, it's 7am, everyone is choosing assignments, and the last assignment to be chosen is likely to be the assignment that includes a quadriplegic. Make that an AWAKE quadriplegic. NO ONE deserves more sympathy than these folks, perhaps. It is a fate worse than death, to have lived your life in a healthy body, independently. And then... you can no longer do anything for yourself. Yes it's terrible. And each time I take one on, I try to talk myself into being the most saintly, patient, sympathetic, compassionate nurse ever to walk the planet.

But you know what? Within 10 minutes, at least 20, they have completely 100% DRAINED THE LIFE out of you as a nurse! You spend the rest of your 12 hours wishing you had chosen any other assignment but this one, because not only do your hate your patient, not only is he spitting and clicking at you even though you just spent 30 minutes in his room getting his pillow in the right place, NOT ONLY have you also catered to his super annoying relatives as if they were the gods, but now you also feel extremely guilty for how much you hate this poor pathetic patient!

Yeah 12 hours is about all I can do in, let's say... about 6 months. That's my quad time. Then I'm out.

And if you're judging me, go ahead, think it. I don't mind. Because I have a reputation for being one of the biggest pushovers to have for a nurse, any awake patient can tell you. There's nothing I won't do for them. This chair is uncomfortable? I'll get you a better one. You want a milkshake, with half chocolate mighty shake, half vanilla ice cream, a dash of 2% milk and half a cup of half-melted ice chips? Yes, I'll make it for you. I'm THAT NURSE. And still, quads drain me. They drain me fast.

No comments: