that's what it's all about

I made a bond with a patient we shall call T. Patient T came in for an esophagectomy and removal of the stomach. He has been through three J tube placements, and last week, on one of my days with him, he developed a huge leak around the 3rd tube, as he had with the first two. Large amounts of tube-feed BM seeping out and all over his skin. He was miserable. I was miserable. It was a Sunday and the thoracic surgery team was being manned by everyone's LEAST favorite resident. I was upset by their response but I didn't know what to do about it, either.

In the afternoon, the leak progressed to a constant gushing of acidic fluid and BM. I went upstairs to the GI floor and got ostomy supplies, and attached an ostomy bag around his tube's insertion site. For this I was pronounced a hero by his wife. Patient T texted his whole family to tell them that for the first time all day, he wasn't covered in goop. It was a victory for everyone, but it also allowed me to measure the output, which up until now the team had been pooh-poohing. His tube feeds were stopped, a dophoff tube was surgically placed, and he is now being evaluated for a small bowel obstruction. ALL of which I had suggested in the morning!

I have grown close to him and his family during the weeks he's spent here. Even though he wasn't my patient yesterday, I stopped in and did a cervical dressing change for him. I know that this is why I went into nursing- the ability to really play a major role in someone's healthcare, in the way they get through their day.

pulling the plug

Life on my unit has been relatively uneventful. Just the usual requests from constipated patients to just "reach up there and get that piece out" (ewwwww) and cute little old ladies with inguinal hernias that pop out at random times.

The other night, however, I was selected to take care of a patient who has decided to turn off his own LVAD and die naturally. He has been a favorite and a regular on our floor for the last four years, and many nurses were shedding tears over the news. I had not taken care of him much, so I was a good pick because I wasn't sobbing every time I passed by, but it was still very sad. I do enjoy palliative care patients, because I like to think that I had a hand in making their deaths more comfortable and dignifying. I would consider working for Hospice or a palliative care team at some point in my career.

As far as going to grad school, I always thought that I would get a year or two of nursing experience and then immediately go for it, but after just one year of nursing I realize that becoming an NP at this point would only limit me. There is so much out there for nurses, there's L&D, emergency medicine, geriatrics, ICUs... a lot to do and learn and experience. So for now, plans for grad school have been put in the "someday" bracket, to be revisited at a much later time.