work, sleep, work, sleep

My med-surg instructor and I continue to have 'conflicts'. Tuesday, once again, she found a way to criticize me for something NOT MY FAULT. The RN checked a blood glucose result before I did, and now suddenly I'm the nurse slacker who doesn't realize the importance of insulin coverage. Hello! It's not as if I can walk around stalking the tech, or hover over the flowsheet every minute waiting for the number. The nurse happened to get it before me. But she doesn't see it that way- and she went off on a rant to our whole group about the importance of getting the blood glucose result before our nurse. I was flippin' mad, let me tell you.

Then she followed me around all day watching me hang IVs and criticizing me for not having the right stuff in my pockets. She makes me so nervous, I'm bound to screw something up. And after every clinical, I feel like I'm not going to be a good nurse. But the nurses and patients tell me I'm wonderful, and that's my only saving grace.

And my Essentials prof told me I'm smart like her, and since I think she is incredibly intelligent and a nurse who really stands up for her profession, I took that as a very high compliment.

In NICU news, my preceptor put me with another nurse for the day, thank god! She still made me stock carts, although I did a half-ass job at it because I get so mad. The staff nurse who took me was an excellent, thorough teacher and I learned more from her in 8 hours than I do from my official preceptor in 36. I could try to talk to this preceptor about our 'differences', but unfortunately I don't feel like she's the type to have a reality-based discussion with. It seems like she's on some other planet and I'm trying to work through this with her long-distance.

I have a crazy week ahead of me, with my grandma's surgery and some Nepali holidays going on this weekend. I have a care map due and a big exam for my crazy med-surg instructor, and then there's the usual NCLEX quiz and clinical write-up to complete. No rest for the weary, that's for sure.

Interesting patients this week: A 28-year-old male gun shot wound victim with a fractured tibia. According to the social work eval, he has 7 children by 4 women. Nice as could be though. A baby born at 23 weeks gestation on bipap who desats and brady's every five minutes. For this I learned how to use the bag and mask, just in case. I have never seen such a little person (1 and a half pounds) with such a big personality! Her miniature little hands always flailing when you do something she doesn't like... so cute, so tiny, so sad. And finally, a 70-year-old male below-the-knee amputee back to have an above-the-knee amputation on the same leg, all because he didn't follow his diabetic regimen. Huge wound that totally dehisced on the stump, with a wound vac.