keeping my mouth shut

I really, really try to get along with my NICU preceptor. And when that fails, I try to try. But honestly, she makes me nuts!!! She putters around and gets excited about things like stocking and little 'extra' projects for the unit. I mean, she's giddy about them. We were there for 12 hours and never had a patient. What the? I mean, does the unit seriously want to pay her to be there for 12 hours checking the crash cart and shit? And then, get this, she tells me that she doesn't like to let me do a lot because she'll get in trouble if I make a mistake. I'm like... "but... um... that's why we're students, right? So we can make mistakes with someone knowledgeable to guide us through it?" She was like "oh... I guess so". Geez. Great teacher here.

She does stuff, like education and family communication, without ever giving me the chance to do it. She's treating me like I'm a freshman or sophomore. Hello, I'm going to be a nurse in 5 months! And I can do it! But she doesn't even let me try. I wish I even thought she was a good nurse, but there's been times when I wanted to take something out of her hands myself and just do it. I just... grrrr. I will have to consider this a lesson in working under someone I deem totally not worthy. Teaching is an important responsibility, not something you do in order to have a little assistant to type your files and stock your carts.

Oh yes, one more thing. She told me she talks fast to people because in nursing school she would do that so that the teachers wouldn't understand her, and think she was just smart. This, apparently, worked for her at one time but now she does it with everyone, including the parents of the babies, and doesn't bother to explain what she's saying. And it's so obvious she's using it to cover up!

But I did see another vag delivery today. It is amazing, utterly amazing, how a woman's body, her genitals, stretch and open for the child. You would never guess it could do that just by looking at it. The mother was amazing, and her body was amazing.